Archive | Funnies RSS feed for this section

It’s beginning to look a lot like… FREE STUFF!!

20 Dec

Hey everyone!

 

If you’re reading this, you need to get your heinie over to Herding Cats and Burning Soup. I’m doing a guest post over there and giving away three presents!! Scoot over there and enter, and while you’re there, check out my vision of erotic romance. The lovely Anna and her guest authors are giving away TONS of stuff this holiday season, so enter and tell your friends!

And in case I don’t get to say this later, I hope your holiday season is peaceful, happy, and healthy. Blessings to you all from your smut-purveyor Regina Cole! :)

Holiday shopping and Homicidal Impulses

11 Dec

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right?

Oh, HELL no.

Image purchased from Fotolia.But it could definitely be the wall outside the Apple Store.

Image purchased from Fotolia.
But it could definitely be the wall outside the Apple Store.

I made the mistake of going to a mall this weekend. I haven’t been to one in ages, and since the people I had left to shop for weren’t the kind of people that I knew instantly what they wanted, it seemed like a good idea to browse.

Next year, remind me of the hell that was a mall trip.

Stalking pedestrians as they walked to their cars to get a space, the honking and rude gestures as people cut one another off in the parking deck, the incredibly high prices? Ugh. It totally reminded me why I do the majority of my shopping at Kohls, Ross, and online.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Isn’t this supposed to be all about goodwill and love and stuff? Why does finding gifts for my loved ones make me want to shove the bellringer’s jingle down her throat? I didn’t, though. The completely dead look in her eyes told me it was a waste of time.

So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to grab some cookies (I’ll give you the recipe on Darker Temptations on Friday) and hunker down with my laptop to finish my shopping. It’s safer this way.

How do you deal with the roiling and pustular masses in December? I could use some tips!

A WIP haiku

27 Aug

Deadlines are looming.
“Caught in Crimson” must be done,
Or Carrie kills me.

(Carrie’s my kickass editor.)
:)

Strip Naked

29 Jun

I live in North Carolina, otherwise known as the tobacco, possum, and humidity capital of the South. So far this year, we’ve had a mild winter, and an excellent spring. So imagine my groan when I saw this forecast:

20120629-110539.jpg

Yeah. Today? Heat index is supposed to be 115.

To quote Troy from Swamp people, MUDDA-FRICKA.

 

So here are my top suggestions for beating the ridonkulous heat.

1. Strip. It’s too damn hot for clothes.

2. Collapse over the air conditioner. Punch anyone that tries to stop you. Self-preservation at its finest.

3. I’d say run through a lawn sprinkler, but any H20 that hits the air will be immediately vaporized into soul-sucking humidity.

4. Pack yourself in ice. Literally. A bathtub full. Or actually, ice cream would be even better. Have a straw handy.

5. Avoid reading DEAR ADDI or SINFUL TRUTH. Getting that hot on your insides while being that hot on the outside? Spontaneous combustion. Then again, it wouldn’t be a bad way to go. ;)

How are you going to beat this heat?????

Tek-no-lojikul Ignoramus

26 Jun

I’m not the computer geek in my family. That honor goes to my elder sister, Mac-phile and tech support genius. However, I know enough to get by. Usually.

Until I’m faced with the honor of a World of Warcraft Mists of Pandaria beta key.

This little gem brightened my geeky little heart, and as soon as I limped home yesterday, (sprained my ankle over the weekend), I tried to figure out how this twenty digit number series would turn into a cute, curvy furry Pandarian chick.

After lots of google searching which told me Nothing, I figured it out on my own. I got just enough downloaded to log in and create a character. Isn’t she cute???

20120626-114508.jpg

But the download made it hard to enjoy playing, so I logged out and let it work all night. This morning, no more progress was made.

Grrrrrrr.

So I tinkered with it some more. We’ll soon see if that helped.

Between that, the fact that I couldn’t figure out FOR THE LIFE OF ME how to send email from my iPhone from this one particular account, and the whole “your iPhone has not backed up since the stone age because your cheap ass hasn’t bought more iCloud storage”, I’m about ready to pitch all my technology at the wall.

Anyone feel my pain?

Wordless Wednesday

20 Jun

20120620-154411.jpg

20120620-154343.jpg

20120620-154445.jpg

Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas

25 Jan

Maybe I’m weird.

Okay, strike that. I *know* I’m weird.

Fabbulus. Mebbe, or mebbe NOT.

Fabbulus. Mebbe, or mebbe NOT.

But I don’t really care for Las Vegas.

I can hear you all now. WHAT????

Seriously.

This may be hard to believe, but I’m not a big drinker. I don’t gamble, (basically because I’ve got rotten luck) and I don’t really get off on huge crowds and “escort” (read- hooker) business cards.

In fairness, I’ve only been there one time, and it was for business, so I didn’t really get the chance to “do the town.”

But I don’t know that I want to go back for any reason other than to give Chumlee at the Gold & Silver pawn shop a great big hug. He’s my favorite!

I wanna pinch his widdle cheeks!

If I had a ton of money, and I could go, say take in the Chippendales, or Cirque du Soleil, then maybe. But do you know how much that stuff COSTS??? It’s crazy!!!

Yes please.

Yes please.

Do you like Vegas? What are your favorite things? Or are you, like me, not a fan? Any funny Vegas stories that made it out alive?

Lmk below!

Ciao!

~R

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 52 other followers